15
FRESH ROACHES

A delegation of Japanese customers came for an aircraft delivery in the winter and we decided to take them to a basketball game. For whatever reason, I ended up taking the technical team (pilots, inspectors and flight attendants) downtown alone because my colleagues were meeting the customer's senior team at the airport. There I was with a group of 10 Japanese clients who were about 15-20 years older than me, trying to keep everyone entertained and making conversation before the game began. Despite some language issues, we managed to have a good time and most of them told me about their families and kids back home. A very sweet group of people made an awkward situation enjoyable. 

Eventually the senior team showed up and joined us, and once the game ended, they took off in their separate car while I stayed behind to accompany the technical team home via taxi. Things then got slightly awkward when they decided to give me presents. To add some context, I wore a small purse that could only fit my wallet and keys (this is a very normal thing that women do when attending concerts/sporting events), so I didn't have anywhere to stash the gifts while we awaited our pre-arranged taxi as droves of people were exiting the stadium. It's also safe to say that the clientele hanging around arenas after sporting events are a bit gritty and usually under the influence. As we waited for our taxi, one particular customer pulled out a small plastic pack of gum and said "I have a present for you." I've always received unique presents from customers given the age gap - usually candy, chocolates, traditional folk handbags and sometimes even figurines. That said, I knew this would be an interesting moment because packs of gum usually aren't entirely hard plastic with a single stick of fake-looking gum. He asked me to take the gum, when I pulled out the gum(surprise!), a tiny hinge flipped open to reveal a small toy cockroach. It was a prank toy for children that I obviously pretended to be very afraid of and also amused by. It gets worse. He had one of these toys in the original packaging especially for me! As I was thanking him profusely for this very amusing gift, I noticed the name of this very interesting toy... a custom compound word of "Cockroach" and "Mint": take "roach" away from "cockroach" and combine what remains with "mint" for the unwittingly profane name of this treasured present.

This is where the tiny purse comes in. I clearly didn't want to walk around drunk and boisterous people holding something visibly named "Cockmint" since I think it would have given them the wrong impression, but I also couldn't whip it in the trash on account of being surrounded by customers. So I tried unsuccessfully to shove it in my purse and immediately regretted my fashion choice for the evening. I settled on hiding it between my hip and purse so I didn't attract any interesting characters with my special item. Thankfully, the taxi arrived soon thereafter and I took home my profanely-named gag toy.

It remains my most treasured customer gift to date, and one of the few times being female in my industry has led to a situation being less awkward than it might have been for a male. While my colleagues may have wine bottles and model airplanes to show as their customer gifts, I have my prized seashell earrings, wicker handbags and best of all, my cock(roach)mint!