WEEK 3
THE FRANCE SERIES
Beware the many pitfalls of French bureaucracy, including how to address people, what to eat and dealing with snarky comments.
LA BANQUE
France is a beautiful country with lots of hidden treasures and unexpected experiences. One that you should be aware of if you're planning on a French voyage is the bureaucracy.
It strikes in unusual places when you least expect it, but you'll be sure to have a great story out of it. I've experienced French bureaucracy both as a student and as a business traveler. One of the worst things you can do in France (aside from the unforgivable crime of butchering the language) is to disrespect the bureaucracy or anyone with any kind of authority. I made the mistake of opening a bank account to make my life easier as an exchange student...instead, I took weekly trips to the bank to sort out various shenanigans. For starters, I needed to make an in-person appointment with a financial adviser to open an account. When my appointment rolled around a week and a half later, I showed up at the bank and mentioned the name of the person I had made an appointment with. The receptionist was visibly annoyed that I referred to him by first and last name, and as I came to understand, I should have referred to him as "Monsieur" + last name. A couple of hours and hundreds of pages later, I opened up an account and asked if I could deposit the cash I had brought over with me. Monsieur quickly replied that they didn't accept cash at that branch. I immediately figured that I misunderstood what he said and had a puzzled look on my face, when he went on to explain that I could deposit cash in the ATMs outside with my bank card. I asked when I could expect to get my bank card, and was told it would be mailed to me in a couple of weeks.
Once I had my bank card, I happily successfully deposited my cash to keep it safe and figured that my banking woes were over. They were not. Monsieur had set my daily withdrawal limit to a ridiculously low amount, so I had to make an appointment to get that changed. I later discovered that he hadn't adjusted the weekly withdrawal amount, so I made another appointment. When I had to deposit a cheque in Euros, he mailed it to the bank's office in Germany for processing (a 4 week process) before making the funds available.
The best part? My bank card had fraudulent charges posted the day after I closed my account (for a one-way flight to Algeria, no less) and Monsieur was convinced I had conveniently booked the flight for myself before closing the account. If only!
The moral of the story: when in France, don't assume that a bank accepts cash!
FRENCH FOOD
France has great food options and the bakeries are always your best bet. The world of boulangeries is a delicious adventure. Did you know that a baguette has to be made with specific ingredients and made onsite in order to be called a baguette? It’s also very normal to ask for a well-cooked baguette if you want your bread crispy, kind of like how you’d order steak! You can also ask for a demi-baguette and get half a baguette for exactly half the price - a great deal for those who live alone. If you want to look like a local, eat the end of the bread as you walk home. Some boulangeries are also patisseries, meaning you can find delicious sweet treats there as well.
Things get less predictable as you dive into the restaurant world. Anyone who has studied French has the same reaction when seeing a French menu for the first time. Despite years of studying French, you’ll understand very few names of dishes. Forget pate and escargots...instead you’re likely to encounter dishes like ris de veau (veal sweetbread...Google it), quenelle (creamed pulpified fish poached in a sauce), fricassee de volaille (poultry stew) and other unusual dish names.
Some other items to watch out for - the French LOVE their ham, so expect to chomp down on liberal amounts of “lardons” in your dishes! Also beware of Andouillette sausage - it’s a very acquired tasting sausage filled with ground pork instestines.
If you stay vigilant when at restaurants, you’ll have great food in France...but your safest bet is the boulangeries!
PARIS
Learning the ins and outs of Paris is tough! The metro is reliable and easy to figure out unless you have to transfer at the mammoth Chatelet-Les Halles station. There are times when I've spent longer walking through that station than I have riding the subway on any given trip. There are lots of tourists around all the time, and Parisians are quietly annoyed by most foreigners.
A very French act of rebellion is to send a tourist asking for directions the complete opposite way. While French people don't have a reputation for being friendly, don't mistake cultural abruptness for bad manners. Asking someone "What is the/your problem?" in France is a curt but acceptable question, whereas that sentence would precede a punch in the face for most English-speakers. Even amongst French people, Parisians are stereotyped as standoffish, so don't feel bad about sensing hostility. On the bright side, French people speak quietly in public, so at least you won't get screamed at!
A few other tips and tricks - Parisian suburbs are usually exactly the opposite of what you'd expect in most cases. A Paris suburb's connotation would be equivalent to an inner-city neighbourhood for very complex reasons, so be careful as you travel out of the city centre. Also, public parks are a nice place to hang out during the day, but be careful at night. Places like Bois de Boulogne will have nearby streets lined by prostitutes and people offering other "special services" camped out in 1970s-esque vans with the curtains.
Paris is a beautiful city, but be sure to pack your smartphone for directions and swallow your ego!
20 IS FOR GOD
Teachers might like this story! University grades in France are out of 20 point scale and aren't the usual percentages or letter grades we are used to in North America. 20 is for God, 17-19 are for absolute geniuses, and 16 is realistically the highest mark you could ever get (for an Einstein-in-training perhaps). You would be happy to get a 13 (like a B)!
In order to get a good grade (i.e. a 13), you will also need to be circular in your reasoning. In North America, a good paper states a thesis, proves it with various arguments and ends with a clear conclusion. In France, a good paper starts off with a question or subject, discusses pros and cons, and then ends with a question on a different topic. Unclear, open-ended conclusions are your friend. Also, don't be put off by the relatively direct feedback from your professors on your paper or to have examples of terrible papers shared with the class when they're handed back. It's normal to have a chunk of your grade be "the quality of your idea"...perhaps it's best to have divine inspiration? See what I did there:)
LE FRANÇAIS
The France Series wouldn't be complete without a post on its language. As with most countries, locals will be touched if you try to speak a few words of the local language. The difference is how deeply proud the French are of their language. If you try to speak but make errors, patience wears thin faster than you can say "pardon". So what do you do? If you do try out a few words, but don't meet the impossible French standard, you'll be judged. If you speak English, you'll be judged. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
Worst of all, if you speak French from another part of the world (ahem, Quebec French), you'll be stared at in horror and locals will have trouble understanding and possibly switch to English. On one hand, the French are proud to see other francophones, but equally horrified at the different way of speaking. For anglophones in Canada who learned basic French in Canada, there are a few words we were taught that make us sound like we emerged from an 1800s time capsule. One such word is "pupitre" (desk) - the French use "bureau". It's almost like saying "fortnight"...it's not wrong, but it sounds antiquated.
If you manage to make yourself understood, your next hurdle will be adjusting to the keyboards. The French don't use the QWERTY orientation, but instead AZERTY. If your name uses the letter A, you're in for a treqt...oops, I mean treat. ;)